Not Ready to Make Nice
by Babylawyer
Summary: Prompt: Regina gets into a heated argument with someone, begins threatening them so Robin picks up Regina and carries/ drags her out of the room before anyone gets hurt.


Robin freezes and the group goes silent in the wake of Hook's comment. Everyone is looking at Hook in horror, the disbelief evident on their faces. He should not have said that. Thank god they are on the sidewalk now, because if Hook had said that a moment earlier when they were crossing the street, Robin suspects they all would have frozen in the middle of the road.

Robin is still too shocked to react, but Regina, oh so smart and quick-witted Regina, she's on him in seconds, a bitten, "What did you just say?" flying harshly from her lips as her eyes bore into his, her fists clenched, an angry aura swirling around her.

Everyone else takes a step back in reaction, everyone but Hook. He stands there unphased, seemingly unaware of what he just said. Anyone in their right mind would back down, would read the room and apologize, but no, not Hook. Robin used to think Regina was a bit unfair to him but now he is in full agreement that Hook is, in fact, a moron.

"It's to be expected, the kid's only got a mom. He's missing the male influence to teach him to be tough."

Good god, he's just digging himself deeper. Robin shakes his head and looks at Regina. Her jaw is clenched, she's still glaring at Hook, even harder now, and shit, she's furious.

"'Missing the male influence?' Are you for real right now?" He hears the unspoken 'are you fucking kidding me' she would have spouted had Roland and Neal not been with them.

Snow must be thinking the same thing because she's taking their hands and suggesting, "Why don't we go get our ice cream now?" She glances at Robin to ensure he's okay with the plan, which he is, that's what they'd been on their way to do before Hook interrupted the trip with his sexism.

Her suggestion is obviously met with much enthusiasm from her son and his, and she leads them the two storefronts down the street to "Any Given Sundae."

Hook at least waits for them to be out of ear shot before launching into his next idiotic comment. "Yes, I am; boys need a man in their life—"

"They _need _a man? Are you saying a woman can't raise a son on her own?"

And oh shit, he hadn't thought about it quite like that but it's no wonder Regina's fuming. That can't have been what Hook meant, even though it is a clear insinuation.

"I'm saying a kid needs a man around to teach them things."

Robin groans, burying his face in his hand. Hook needs to shut up, now.

He's utterly unsurprised when Regina responds with, "To teach them what? Tell me, Hook, what the hell kind of things do you think women can't teach, huh?"

"Well, uh…"

"I raised a son on my own. Do you want to take a swing at that? Why don't you tell me all the things I couldn't teach Henry." She raises her eyebrows challenging him, and whatever he does Hook needs to not touch that if he wants to survive this.

"The boy is a bit…"

Oh for fuck's sake, he might kill Hook himself. How is it possible he is being so beyond stupid right now?

"Henry's what?" Regina asks, her tone as cold as ice. Her face has gone blank, and her fingers flex, that subtle movement showing the effort she's putting in to bury the signs of her rage. It unnerves Hook, which he expects was the intention.

"He's too sensitive," as soon as the words are out of his mouth Regina forces him against the wall with her magic, cutting off his airway so he can't speak.

"Never, ever say that or anything like it about my son again, or a missing hand will be the least of your problems," she hisses through gritted teeth. "Nod if you understand."

Hook nods and Regina lets him fall to the ground making her way back to Robin's side, her frustration radiating off of her in waves. He puts his arm around her, attempting to reassure.

There's a terse silence for a few seconds before Snow emerges from the ice cream shop, loudly announcing they are coming back over.

"It's a wonder where he gets it from," Hook whispers sarcastically, but not nearly quiet enough, as he goes to walk away.

Robin feels Regina tense, ready to strike. He knows exactly what she's going to do, and there is no question Hook deserves it, but he doesn't want Roland and Neal to see it and he knows neither would she.

So he does something he hopes won't turn her fury onto him and picks her up, physically removing her from the situation.

She's annoyed, that much he can tell as he sets her down around the corner in the little alleyway. She immediately starts pacing, looking down at the ground, her fists are clenched again.

He goes on the offensive, not wanting her to blow up at him—even if he deserves it—before explaining why he did it. "I'm sorry, love. He deserved it, he did, but I didn't want Roland to see."

She huffs out a breath, sucks in another and lets it out before she finally looks at him and addresses him. Her tone is much softer than he anticipated, "I didn't realize… I had forgotten he was there. I just, ugh, Hook is a fucking idiot."

He nods furiously, "That he is."

"I don't want him near my son," she states firmly. "I know Henry likes him but I will not have _that _kind of influence in my son's life."

He doesn't know that she'd be able to stop it if Henry really wanted it. He got his strong will from his mother, that's for sure, but he doesn't think Henry will want to spend time with Hook when he hears what happened. Calling a seven-year-old kid a sissy—not just any kid; Roland's best friend, Alex—then spouting off how single moms can't raise boys. Ridiculous.

"Hey…" comes tentatively from Snow, "Is everything alright?"

Roland is with her holding her hand, but he comes running toward them when he spies them. "Look Papa, Regina, I got ice cream!"

Regina smiles, the tension melting out of her at the sight of his son all cheerful. "You did? what kind did you get?" she asks like she doesn't know the answer by heart. It's Chunky Monkey, always Chunky Monkey from Roland, never anything else.

"Chunky Monkey!" Roland exclaims then shoves half the cone in his mouth, prompting various scoldings from Robin, Regina and Snow.

Roland grins guiltily and asks Regina for a napkin to clean off his now covered in ice cream face. As always, she delivers—Robin doesn't know what he'd do without her because he never remembers that kind of thing, would have a much messier son that's for sure.

When Roland hands her back the dirty napkin, all traces of Regina's anger are gone. Still, he slides up beside her, resting his hand on her waist as she disposes of the napkin and asks lowly so no one else can hear, "Are you okay?"

"I can't guarantee I won't sock Hook in the face if he ever says anything like that again, but yeah, I'm good, let's go home."

He smiles, presses a quick kiss to her lips and yells for Roland to come with them. Roland entertains them with more stories of his and Alex's antics, this time met with appropriate responses.

When they get home they relieve Henry from his babysitting duties. Henry informs them she slept the whole time, thankfully oblivious to her parents' conflict. Henry on the other hand is not, (he must have heard from Snow or David) and tells his mother, "I'm not speaking to him until he apologizes."

Robin takes in her delighted grin and sees the pride in her eyes as Henry starts brainstorming ways to rid Hook and other Storybrooke residents of the ludicrous notions about parenting and gender roles best left in the Enchanted Forest.


End file.
